And now the latest installment of the Blob's interminably impenetrable feature, The NFL In So Many Words:
1. Well, at least Calvin Johnson didn't eat the yellow snow.
2. Though he now ranks second behind LeSean McCoy in the NFL's newest stat, "Most Snow Angels, Season."
3. Congratulations to the Indianapolis Colts, who got rolled by the Bengals but clinched the coveted AFC South over the Frankford Yellow Jackets, the Chicago Cardinals and Gil Thorp's always-tough Milford High School Mudlarks.
4. The good news for the Colts: With another Loss Week behind them, it's Win Week again.
5. Hey, look, the Cowboys just made a tackle.
6. Oh, wait. That was a highlight clip from 1978.
7. Hey, look, it's the Oakland Raiders of the late Al Davis period.
8. Oh, wait. It's actually the Washington Redskins of the current Daniel Snyder period.
9. Or the Cowboys of the current Jerry Jones period.
And last but not least ...
10. Snyder: I'll raise you Seven Head Coaches (Soon To Be Eight) In 14 Years. Jones: I'll see your Seven Head Coaches (Soon To Be Eight) In 14 Years, and raise you Getting Rid Of Rob Ryan Was A Stroke of Genius. Also One Playoff Win Since 1996.