And now, back by a popular demand that cannot be verified anywhere, this week's installment of the barely acknowledged Blob feature, The NFL In So Many Words:
1. Now starting at middle linebacker for the Steelers: Your neighbor, Ernie.
2. Now starting at center: Your other neighbor, Stanley.
3. Doggone it. Looks like Jim Irsay forgot to pay the monthly Andrew Luck Fourth Quarter Magic bill.
4. The Bears, however, did not forget to pay the Jay Cutler Fourth Quarter Magic bill.
5. Hey, remember when the Cowboys were 1-0 and headed to the Super Bowl? Seems like only a week ago.
6. Rumor has it Pete Carroll owns Jim Harbaugh in ping-pong, too. Also croquet, foosball, table hockey and Jarts.
7. This week's essay question: No, really, what if the Jacksonville Jaguars were a professional football team?
8. Noogies on you, Eli Manning!
9. Also swirlies. I hear Peyton loves to give you those, too.
And last but not least:
10. RG III downgraded to RG II. Film at 11.