I guess were getting ready to attack Syria. But if we win, in the semifinals we face Iran.
Syrias President Assad referred to President Obama as weak. Obama is so angry he plans to ask Congress for permission to come up with a good comeback.
Theyre now making the first smartphone thats not made overseas. Its made in Texas.
Its also the first smartphone that doubles as a handgun.
President Obama is pretty clever. Did you see what he is doing to get Congress to approve the attack? He told them Syrian President Assad supports Obamacare.
Congratulations to 64-year-old swimmer Diana Nyad. On her fifth try she completed her 110-mile swim from Cuba to Florida. See, 64 is not too old to swim 110 miles.
Its too old to host a late-night talk show, but not to swim 110 miles.
Today during the hearing on Syria, John McCain was caught playing poker on his smartphone.
I was like, What? John McCain knows how to use a smartphone?
Dennis Rodman returned to North Korea this morning – and with any luck, for good.
Actually, Rodman is going to hang out with his friend, Kim Jong Un. If somebody told you Dennis Rodman, a basketball player, was hooking up with Kim, you would assume they meant a Kardashian, right?
They announced the new cast of Dancing With the Stars this morning.
As is the custom, President Obama introduced the new cast at a press conference on the White House lawn.