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Editorial columns

  • Public school backers deserve your backing
    Elections in Indiana are critically important and represent the most fundamental decision-making authority of a representative government. Elections choose our leadership and guide our state’s future.
  • $2 billion surplus is goal, no matter the cost
    Shortly after the close of the fiscal year last June 30, our governor and auditor glowingly reported that our state had a budget surplus of more than $2 billion. How were we able to achieve this?
  • Literacy an investment with lifelong benefits
    September is Literacy Month, a chance to raise awareness about low adult literacy.
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Late-night humor

Beck

David Letterman

“I don’t know if you saw it last night but let me just apologize. We had a bad show last night. I will tell you how bad the show was last night. Halfway through, the White House stopped listening in.”

“Happy birthday to the president’s daughter Sasha, who is 12 years old. For her birthday, her father gave her Justin Bieber’s phone records.”

Jay Leno

“There are reports that female terrorists are being fitted with exploding breast implants. How many guys are going to use this as an excuse? ‘Honey, I’m not looking at her breasts. I’m working for Homeland Security.’ ”

“President Obama said he welcomes a national debate over our surveillance policies. He said that’s a debate we wouldn’t have had five years ago. Five years ago? It’s a debate we wouldn’t have had two weeks ago if they all hadn’t gotten caught.”

Conan O’Brien

“Conservative commentator Glenn Beck is suffering from paralyzed vocal cords that have made him unable to speak. But not to worry – doctors are working around the clock to make sure this condition continues.”

“According to a poll, the majority of Americans are OK with the Obama administration listening in on our phone calls. Guys approve because they feel it increases security. And women approve of Obama’s policy because finally a man is listening to them.”

“Marco Rubio announced a new bill that would require immigrants to learn English to become citizens. Many Americans already say it’s the goodest news they have heard all year.”

Bill Maher

“Michelle Obama was heckled … She’s tough. Obama always stays cool when he gets heckled, but Michelle was like all ‘Game of Thrones.’ … She said, ‘If I wanted to hear your opinion, my husband will tap your phone.’ ”

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