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Editorial columns

  • City’s plan is best vision for State Blvd.
    As a resident of Oakridge Road and the Brookview-Irvington Park Historic District, I approve of the city’s State Boulevard reconstruction plan.
  • TV’s greatest guessing game
    The fantasy saga “Game of Thrones,” defying the Emmy Awards’ grudging respect for genre fare, emerged as the leader in the nominations announced Thursday with 19 bids, including best drama series.
  • Learning to stress relaxation
    I went on vacation last week, and as I was preparing to leave town, I couldn’t help but feel worried.
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Late-night humor

Beck

David Letterman

“I don’t know if you saw it last night but let me just apologize. We had a bad show last night. I will tell you how bad the show was last night. Halfway through, the White House stopped listening in.”

“Happy birthday to the president’s daughter Sasha, who is 12 years old. For her birthday, her father gave her Justin Bieber’s phone records.”

Jay Leno

“There are reports that female terrorists are being fitted with exploding breast implants. How many guys are going to use this as an excuse? ‘Honey, I’m not looking at her breasts. I’m working for Homeland Security.’ ”

“President Obama said he welcomes a national debate over our surveillance policies. He said that’s a debate we wouldn’t have had five years ago. Five years ago? It’s a debate we wouldn’t have had two weeks ago if they all hadn’t gotten caught.”

Conan O’Brien

“Conservative commentator Glenn Beck is suffering from paralyzed vocal cords that have made him unable to speak. But not to worry – doctors are working around the clock to make sure this condition continues.”

“According to a poll, the majority of Americans are OK with the Obama administration listening in on our phone calls. Guys approve because they feel it increases security. And women approve of Obama’s policy because finally a man is listening to them.”

“Marco Rubio announced a new bill that would require immigrants to learn English to become citizens. Many Americans already say it’s the goodest news they have heard all year.”

Bill Maher

“Michelle Obama was heckled … She’s tough. Obama always stays cool when he gets heckled, but Michelle was like all ‘Game of Thrones.’ … She said, ‘If I wanted to hear your opinion, my husband will tap your phone.’ ”

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