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And Another Thing

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Hell-met

Look, I know where my football fashion sense lives. It's somewhere at the intersection of Ear-Flap Avenue and What's-Wrong-With-Plain-Old-White (or Red, or Black, or Blue) Boulevard.

This is a function of being old enough to remember when the Wishbone was newfangled, and the New Year's Day bowl lineup never varied from Orange-Cotton-Sugar-Rose.

So, of course, I'm gonna hate this. And not just because Indiana has decided it somehow needs six helmets, which means they might be the only school in the country this fall whose helmets outnumber its wins.

Now, admittedly, some of these aren't bad. I'd love to have seen, say, a plain crimson helmet with no stripes or no logo, but, of course, that wasn't gonna happen. Even if it would have been so nondescript it would have actually been radical, if you get what I'm saying.

Instead, we got the two-sided thing -- one side white with red numerals, the other the torch symbol from the state flag -- which really needs to die a painful and protracted death. I vote for covering it in honey and staking it out on an anthill.

And that chrome candy-stripe deal?

Yikes. It looks what would happen if an NHL goalie and Harley-Davidson had a love child, and then the love child grew up and married Ironman and they had a child. Or something along those lines.

But what do I know?

Maybe IU will don those things against Michigan and distract the Wolverines long enough to score five or six touchdowns. Could work.

Ben Smith's blog.

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