You choose, we deliver
If you are interested in this story, you might be interested in others from The Journal Gazette. Go to www.journalgazette.net/newsletter and pick the subjects you care most about. We'll deliver your customized daily news report at 3 a.m. Fort Wayne time, right to your email.

Editorial columns

Advertisement

Late-night laughs

The best of recent jokes by late-night comedians:

David Letterman

“The Bush Presidential Library is beautiful, and they have a huge section devoted to weapons of mass destruction, but nobody can find it.”

“Anthony Weiner is back on Twitter. It’s like giving Lindsay Lohan the keys to the mini bar.”

Jay Leno

“All five living presidents were in Dallas today for the opening of the George W. Bush Presidential Library. President Obama said he was happy to support the opening of the library. He should be. After all, Bush got him elected twice. Blame Bush on that one, sir!”

“Sen. John McCain went on TV this week to call Kim Jong-Un a clown and a fool. According to John McCain, that would still make him eligible to be vice president.”

Jimmy Fallon

“There’s a new iPhone app that tells women where they can buy Michelle Obama’s clothes. Not only that – there’s another app that tells men where they can buy Hillary Clinton’s clothes.”

“New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie was in Texas today for the dedication of George W. Bush’s presidential library. The library is already done, but they brought in Christie for a second ground breaking.”

Stephen Colbert

“These (Tsarnaev) brothers killed a young policeman, carjacked an SUV, ending with a high-speed chase and a firefight in which Tamerlan was mortally wounded, ending his life as all Islamic terrorists dream: at Beth Israel Hospital.”

“I mean, at the end of this man’s presidency, even as my fellow conservatives were abandoning Bush like rats on a sinking ship on a crash course with Cat Island, I remained faithful, and I’m sure he knows that from the warrantless wiretaps he authorized.”

Advertisement