The best of recent jokes by late-night comedians:
The new pope was inaugurated earlier today. All of the world leaders were there. Joe Biden represented the United States. Germany was represented by Angela Merkel. And Dennis Rodman was there, of course.
Have you been watching The Bible’? They have a character who plays Satan, and he looks a little bit like President Obama. And I thought, If President Obama was actually Satan, Republicans might be willing to deal with him.’
A 28-year-old woman from Serbia has a rare brain condition where she sees everything upside down. The good news? She’s now been given a job at the White House as President Obama’s economic adviser.
The U.S. Senate is now fighting to keep open the Senate barber shop. It loses $350,000 a year. Do you know what that makes it? The most successful government program ever. It’s losing only $350,000 a year.
President Obama filled out his NCAA Tournament bracket. He picked Florida, Indiana, Louisville and Ohio State to go to the Final Four. Crazy that it’s been four months since the election, and he still needs Florida and Ohio to win.
Today President Obama and Joe Biden were both out of the country at the same time for an hour and 20 minutes. On the bright side, Sasha and Malia managed to talk the Republicans into a budget deal.
Mitt Romney spoke at CPAC. He has not lost any of the warmth and charm we have come to know. He still sounds like the flight attendant that doesn’t let you use the bathroom in first class.