For this one, I have to reach back for a little Thornton Wilder, or at least a version of Thornton Wilder.
In "Our Town," see, Wilder wrote this: "Wherever you come near the human race, there's layers and layers of nonsense."
I'd tweak that this way: "Wherever you come near the NCAA, there's layers and layers of nonsense."
Consider: While the organization is in all sorts of hot water over a botched investigation of Miami (Fla.) sugar daddy Nevin Shapiro -- it seems the investigators themselves might have been dirty, and ain't that a kick in the head -- it apparently hasn't lost its taste for pettiness.
And so you have the spectacle of UCLA, in full cringe mode, launching an internal investigation over a backpack freshman star Shabazz Muhammad wore to the postgame news conference Thursday night after the Bruins upset Arizona.
Apparently it was a really, really top-drawer backpack. Now, it should be noted that UCLA issues its own official backpacks with the school logo on them. But they're not nearly as fly as what Muhammad was rocking.
So, basically, here's what this boils down to: Anticipating the NCAA, UCLA called in its rulebook leg-breakers because Muhammad had too nice a backpack.