The best of recent jokes by late-night comedians:
This year nobody was elected to baseball’s Hall of Fame. No player has ever gotten into the Hall of Fame without winning Ohio.
The inauguration will have a lot of corporate sponsors, big money and corporations sponsoring the inauguration. It will be the same with the Kardashian baby.
President Obama recently came under fire over the lack of diversity in his cabinet. Then Obama said, You guys know I’ll be there, too, right?’
The White House announced that the theme for President Obama’s inauguration will be Faith in America’s Future.’ Which is proof that no one in the White House has ever seen Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.’
President Obama will be sworn in with his hand resting on two Bibles. Is that how screwed up Washington is now? One Bible can’t get the job done anymore?
Today was a big day in Hollywood. The Oscar nominations were announced. Lincoln’ leads the list with 12 nominations. This is a first – not the most nominations, but the first time Hollywood has ever voted for a Republican president. That is amazing.
Make no mistake – they’re coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the guns.
Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to do on weekdays.