And now the latest edition of the Blob's amazingly regular feature, The NFL In So Many Words:
1. Pick up, Andrew Luck. Spielberg's on the line. For the last time, your script is just not believable.
2. Although if you rewrite to include a small, cute alien, he might reconsider.
3. Hey, didn't you used to be the Arizona Cardinals?
4. I mean, 58-0, for pity's sake. And you guys with Larry Fitzgerald and all.
5. Who is even now evading the guard towers and tunneling under the wall.
6. Fiscal cliff, my patootie. RG III's sprained knee is the real crisis in D.C.
7. Hey, look! It's Cam Cameron!
8. OK. Was Cam Cameron.
9. The good news (at least in Indianapolis): The Houston Texans' juggernaut card has expired.
10. The bad news (in Indy and everywhere but the northeast): The New England Patriots' has not.