And now the latest edition of the Blob's numbingly recurring feature, The NFL In So Many Words ...
1. Colin Kaepernick!
2. Alex Smith is on the line for you. He wants to know where on the sideline you'd like him to stand next week.
3. Hey, look! The Bears O-line just blocked something!
4. Ha. Just kidding.
5. Oh, go ahead, Bill Belichick. Send Tom Brady out there again. You're only up by four touchdowns. Who knows what could happen?
6. Colin Kaepernick!
7. It's Alex again. He wants to know if there's anything he can get you. Juice? Gatorade? Energy bar?
8. Really, Pittsburgh. Those uniforms.
9. Hey, look! The Bears O-line just blocked something else!
10. No, really. They went to the movies. Sat in front of a 5-foot-2 guy. Blocked his view.