And now for the latest installment of the Blob's terminally underachieving feature, The NFL In So Many Words ....
1. Hey, look! The Bears just scored again!
4. Andrew Luck is A) a cyborg, B) an alien being from a galaxy far, far away, C) a pseudonym whose real name is "Peyton Manning."
5. Peyton Manning is A) a cyborg, B) a trick of the light, C) not really in Denver at all. See "C" above.
6. Sean Payton, please pick up. A J. Jones would like to talk to you.
7. Michael Vick's numbers this week: 22-of-41, 272, one touchdown, one interception. Nick Foles Time! Alert Level: Orange.
8. His name is Martin. Doug .... Martin.
9. Really, Mr. Payton. Pick up. J. Jones is being quite insistent.
10. Touchdown, Bears!