The best of recent jokes by late-night comedians:
David Letterman
Mitt Romney is going to be in London for the opening ceremonies of the Olympics, and he plans to take his tax returns and drop them into the torch.
Jay Leno
Mitt Romney annoyed the British by saying that London seemed unprepared for the Olympics. You know, putting his foot in his mouth like that is not very presidential. Vice presidential, sure. Yeah, but not presidential.
In the spirit of the Olympics, they traditionally ask that all fighting and warfare around the world stop. So, theres hope for a cease-fire within the Jackson family.
Conan O’Brien
The Olympics have just started, and the Greeks are already 14 medals in debt.
This years Olympics will be replacing the womens beach volleyball bikinis with uniforms that are less revealing. The stricter dress code was made to appease the conservative nation of Buzzkillistan.
Jimmy Fallon
Next week, President Obama will celebrate his 51st birthday. Obama already got one really nice gift: Mitt Romneys trip to London.
Officials at the London Olympics will be conducting 5,000 tests for steroids. Or as Lance Armstrong calls that, a Monday.
Jimmy Kimmel
Theyre calling it the worst drought in 56 years. That seems to me unnecessarily negative. Couldnt it be the best drought in 56 years?
A new study claims that for the first time ever, Canadians are wealthier than Americans. We are their Mexico now, it turns out.